Have you ever said something that you really, really regret?
Welcome to Mindfully Organized 2 Minute tips I am Rose Hawley-Perry, The Declutter Your Mind So Your Soul Can Shine Coach and in today’s episode I am going give you a few pointers on making more conscious choices in our responses to others.
Before all else you must take responsibility for your own actions. Unless someone has physically made you do something, they don’t actually make you do anything. The part that is theirs is their behavior. That gets processed by your brain, filtered through your stories, your experience, your expectations and then turns it into YOUR reaction.
Have you ever had a person in your life that other friends got along with just fine, but they just pushed all the wrong buttons for you? That is because their behavior gets filtered through your brain.
So, how do you start becoming more conscious and less reactive? Anywhere you can. It takes practice and it seems like a lot of work. But in reality, it is less work, because you get to decide when you want to do something. You get to decide when to ignore something. You and only you get to decide how you are going to spend your energy. I am not saying that getting angry or having a good cry isn’t the right reaction. I am just saying you get to decide.
Most important, give yourself time to think before you speak. Do NOT respond too quickly. We are taught that we need to answer quickly and decisively and that is false. Take a breath. If the situation allows step away, if it doesn’t say, Let me think about this for a minute.
Then decide what the most important outcome is for you in the situation. If you are talking to a co-worker and they insulted you, but you need them to get something done yesterday, following up on the insulting part of the conversation right this minute may not be the best response.
What do you think? I love to hear your opinions so let a comment below and let’s talk. 🙂
Jude Harlan says
Well done, Rose!