The Sweet Spot Podcast – Episode 1
Mike Kemski is a 2 time #1 best selling author, founder of the BANABU movement (Building A New And Better Universe.)
What separates Mike from the pack is everything he teaches he learned from experience. He is one of the most down to earth, authentic, real, open, and tell-it-like-it-is honest people you’ll find. His story is powerful, riveting, admirable, and inspiring. Mike’s primary driving force is to help people discover the power they have within themselves to create the lives they want to live, even if they can’t see it. And the best part of what Mike teaches is you don’t have to spend years, months, or even weeks mastering these things before you see results.
Mike is one power and amazing coach. He has kicked my ass a few times in his no nonsense, loving way.
What follows are highlights from our conversation. It turns out, I am really, really slow at transcription and it was holding getting the podcast out. 🙂
Mike’s Story – “Ever since I was a little kid I had this need, or this desire, this calling to help; help people make the world a better place through helping other people. But, I wasn’t in a position to do that, because of how I was raised, how I grew up and the environment I grew up in. My whole life was focused on surviving, not about helping other people thrive. So, there was a big disconnect in me in what was calling my heart to what my mind actually said was possible for me.
A lot of people feel that way and I’d just never really stopped listening to it because you really can’t. You can dull it down; turn down the volume. People do this on time. Turn up the noise in their life to turn down the volume of their soul, their calling, whatever you want to call that. But, it really never goes away. I mean, there is something that I think is built into our DNA. So eventually, over time through a bunch of trials and tribulations and drug addictions and then botched suicide attempts and all kinds of crap that happened in my life, I got to a point where I decided, ‘You know what, I am going to do this.’ I have had this thing, whatever is, inside of me my entire life. I am just going to do it.”
The Good News About Starting – Time 4:40
When you start something new you’re the worst you are ever going to be at it because you never done it before. So there is no place to go but up.
- It doesn’t have to be a grand firework, a divine purpose in life. For a lot of people it’s not.
- Could be as simple as, this is what makes me feel good. When I do this I feel good my life goes better, I’m happier, I’m more successful, I have a higher sense of wellbeing.
- My life doesn’t suck as bad when it does suck (because it always sucks sometimes.)
Fear as Gateway to Courage – Time: 9:27
We have this massively powerful ability to really focus our perspectives and energy on certain things. For every fear there is the exact dualistic opposite; there is courage. There is just as much courage as there is fear in the world.
How do you use that when you’re scared or to a point where you are immobile?
Then you have to backup and ask yourself.
- What’s going on in your mentality?
- Why are you so scared?
- What are you afraid you are going to lose? You aren’t focused on anything you might gain. What happens if you do lose it?
- Understand the one thing you can control in this world is your own energy. You can’t control other people, or the cosmos. You can’t make the universe bend to your will.
We Are All Naturally Lazy – Time 12:17
One of nature’s laws is to conserve energy. That is why we only intake a small percent of what we actually experience. Otherwise our brains would explode.
Analogy for every time you go to make a transformation: The person that you are and the person you want to be both walk into the ring. You are going to battle inside that ring and one of you is leaving, but only one of you.
Three Phases of Transformation – Time 14:49
Phase 1 – Excitement Phase
- You are excited and full of energy for some great new thing.
- You are thinking of all the possibilities, magic, people, praise, significance, power, money and everything else.
- This is the first part of a hundred mile marathon and or the starting line. YOU FEEL READY.
Phase 2 – Messy Middle
- You are asking yourself, “What the hell was I thinking.”
- You can’t see what is ahead of you and that is scary.
- It is important to have support system to get through this phase. Make sure you are surrounding yourself with people who support your vision. Not just cheerleaders, but people who will say, “I know you can get to the next level. I know that you can do it. You keep going!” People who will demand you be your best. Those are real friends.
- This is the phase that kills dreams. If you turn around you know what is behind you and that is comforting even if you were unhappy back there. And many people turn back.
- Must fight your body and brain and calling to you to stop, to turn back.
- Remember the energy you need is always there. You can push through and when you see the finish line you will get a burst of energy.
- This is the time for problem solving. It is not about what you don’t have, it is about figuring out how to do it with what you have or what you can get.
- This is the phase that strengthens you for the successful transformation. If you don’t go through this phase and somehow get to success without the messy middle, you won’t have the strength to hold on to the transformation. You are preparing to handle the financial, mental, physical, spiritual aspects of your transformation.
- People don’t like to think or talk about this part because this part sucks.
Phase 3 – Completed the Transformation
- You are stronger. What was hard in Phase 2 now feels easier.
- You are better equipped for life.
- You are ready to help more people. create more business.
What does Prosperity Mean to You – Time: 30:26
Asking yourself what prosperity means to you, before you make your transformation, allows you to know what you what to do with your new success.
- Being ok with where you are, who you are, and your contribution to the world, can be prosperity. It is about how you feel.
- It is ok if you want to earn a lot of money or a big house or a fancy car.
- It is ok if you want to live simply.
- If it makes your heart sing and your soul light up go for it. Don’t worry about what other people will think.
- How hard you want to work?
- What makes you happy?
- Where will you will thrive?
Creative Productive Duality – Time 39:01
Pondering this duality between creativity, flow, being open to everything and productivity. If you’re always in the creativity/flow part then no one might ever see your creations, even if that is important to you. If you are only in productive mode, you may not come up with that brilliant, creative, soul stirring idea. So how do you balance that duality of flow and productivity?
- Principal 2 in BANABU is the Principal of Duality.
- Creativity and productivity are two sides of the same coin.
- You are either are productive or creative in any one moment.
- Flow needs a structure. By doing the productive stuff you create the river bed for the creative river to flow. The river needs a river bed and the river bed needs a river.
- You can do this for yourself.
- Or you can find a partner. What is your strength? Find the other side of the coin and work with them. Some people love to create order and structure. Some love living in the creative flow.
- Or you can find the money to hire someone, go earn it, figure it out. That is part of the tough love, messy middle, phase 2.
- Be open to finding the solution.
Making Sure You Feed Your Soul – Time 47:46
- The human design is flawless. When you are off-balance you will feel pain, depression, anger. This is your internal coach telling you that you are not being fulfilled.
- Ask yourself what is wrong. You just need to listen to your body, your brain.
- If you don’t listen, your brain and body will bring you more pain.
- “I have to” is just an excuse. Take the time you need to feed your soul, a couple hours, a day. You are going to be more productive with the have to stuff after you are energized.
- If you are feeling like your whole life is heavy, it is possible to slow and steady to change your life. What is the step that you can do today?
- If you focus all of your time on either side of the coin, there will be pain. You can’t stay in either creative or productive. You have to find your own personal balance.
- We have all of our own answers. The way that someone else doesn’t things might not work for you.
YOU HAVE PERMISSION! – Time 59:22
- It is ok to change your life, to take ownership of your life.
- Mentors, coaches, therapists doesn’t have your answers, but they can give you permission and support your transformation.
- Figure out how to use your pain.
- GO DO IT! You will be adding value to the world.
- Don’t listen to people who say, “Who are you to do….?”
- Don’t chase success, make success chase you.
Over Abundance of Possibilities – Time 1:04:45
How do you decide what you want to work on?
If something is starting to stand out to you all the time pay attention. Which thing draws more of your attention. This is the right thing to pick, even if it doesn’t make any sense. Intuitively you will know.
- Give yourself permission to listen to your body, it will tell you when you have taken on too much.
- When there is enough pain you will change. Try to listen sooner.
- Don’t do stuff just to be busy.
- People can get addicted to the chase, to the process, to the game, get stuck in Phase 2.
- People can also get stuck in Phase 1, always looking for the new, the exciting.
Companions – Time 1:14:26
How do make sure you are getting the connections you need, especially if you work alone?
- This is hard, but it is still about pain. Listen to how you are feeling.
- Google hangouts with people
- Facilitate groups
- Spend time with family and friends.
- Sometime you have to shut down the business life and go hang out with your people.
- Physical movement.
- Training that are inspiring, listening to this podcast.
- Doing other things that feed your soul.
- Entrepreneurs don’t really ever unplug and check out. This is ok. Do whatever is right for you.
Summary and What to Do Next: Time 1:23:32
- Define what you want to do. What is your perspective? Why do you want to do this?
- Writing helps…”What would your perfect life look like if you didn’t have to worry about how you get there?”
- Everything is energy in this world. The only thing that you have control over is your energy.
- It comes down to what is right for you. Listen to your body, your heart, your mind.
- It is all about choice.
- The fun and hard times are all part of life. Don’t let fear of imperfection hold you back.
- Entrepreneurship can be a chance to explore. Try things out. You become less and less scattered as you explore.
- Look at this as the fun part not just learning experiences or failures.
- If you are finding you aren’t quite cut out to be something you might look for something in the same realm.
- Life is one big experiment. Be a scientist, it is all data.
Bucket List and Closing – Time 1:34:15